Friday, June 19, 2009

My Answer

It would be ridiculous of me to be curious about your answer to my earlier question if I wasn't forthcoming with an answer of my own. But by putting my answer down I am acutely aware that it will then be "out there" and that I may actually need to act on it. Quite a concept, I realize. Sort of the point of my entire blog and still I resist. It's in my bio for God's sake. Not likely to be a surprise to anyone and yet...resistance.

It all comes down to that pesky brat 'fear.' It can tag along with you everywhere like an unrelenting younger sibling who fights for your attention while you're trying to watch Bo & Hopes' 9th 'Wedding of the Year' on Days of Our Lives back in the elementary school days. Yet now you can't just call your mom to get rid of him...I mean it - the fear, of course.

Fear of change, fear of disappointing others and fear of making waves in this particular case.

I'm an intelligent individual. I know the fear is lurking there. I know it's irrational and, quite frankly, ridiculous that I'm hesitant to write down what I would like to be doing with my life. How, in my ever lovin' world, am I going to make 'it' happen if I don't write it down, talk about it and start looking into how it can become my reality? Well, that's simple. I won't. I know this to be true because I've tested the theory out sufficiently already. Perhaps you have as well?

I am very clear that nothing comes from nothing.

So to cease and desist with my procrastinating, the answer to my very own question about what one thing I want to have done before I move on from this lovely life o' mine is, in a word: explore.

To explore:

1. to traverse or range over (a region, area, etc.) for the purpose of discovery.
2. to look into closely; scrutinize; examine.
3. to investigate into.
4. to search for; search out.

I want to be traveling the world, writing about my adventures, the people I meet and the new experiences I am enjoying. I want to find a way to transfer what I'm learning into something I can share with others. I want to be involved, present and fully engaged in the experience. I want to be smiling - a lot. I want to be sharing my story, of who I am - maybe more specifically, why I am who I am - and mostly, I want to be learning the evolving stories of others.

I want to be confirming my belief that while we may live far apart and have very different experiences, there is still more about us that is similar than that which separates us (now how's that for objective research?). And I want to try to share/tell that larger story.

To who? Good question. Who knows? Maybe just to own little science project. Maybe to my non-existent (pardon me, two strong) blog audience. Maybe to youth, perhaps to politicians (likely not), or maybe to a blank sheet of paper. But I will be sharing the stories and the lessons I am lucky enough to learn along the way (Wow, did that sound like a commitment? Sure sounded like one to me).

I am a huge fan of self-reflection and enjoy the process of exploring the depths of who and what I am; how I have become, well, me. I'm always seeking to understand. And now I want to turn my attention outward and learn more about the world and the people around me...beyond my home in Vancouver and North America, the only continent I have explored to date (and to say I've "explored' North America may be a wee bit generous).

I want to search for the common ground that, I believe, exists everywhere around and between us.

I have been very fortunate having had the opportunity to do and experience such amazing things in my life already, and I am both excited and nervous about embarking on this new adventure.

Now that it's "out there" that's it for me. I'm spent.


1 comment:

  1. That sounds like a commitment to me. The next question is .... now what??