Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Fog is Clearing

It feels like a lifetime has passed since I was last blogging consistently. Wow. Amazing how easily I can get caught up in the drama of my own life at times and neglect the things that feed me most.

So today's lesson is a brief one. As of late, I have been watching myself get all bent out of shape by two people in particular. Both are boys. Both challenge me in different ways. Both have a gift of getting under my skin before they even say so much as hello to me.

It's been such a problem that I had to take a time out from them both, choosing instead to spend the time reflecting on what the deal is with these two (as if the issue were outside of me!). I took some guidance from a great book on zen and stopped when I read this: "By not moving, we are unable to run away or influence our experience. We have to simply be present to whatever is happening, just as it is."

I've been very busy getting worked up, reacting without thinking, and allowing things to both bother me and then fester, that I've actually forgotten to sit still, find my seat and do nothing. As all good zen students know (at least intellectually we know), if we cannot simply 'do nothing', we have little hope of resolving anything. Funny thing being that as we do nothing for a little while, there is very little that needs resolving. Our reaction subsides, our death grip on the issue loosens, and our perspective clears.

How I could lose site of the fact that these individuals were not the issue but that my particular reaction to them was, is beyond me. Just goes to show that we all can benefit from reminders from time to time.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day

Longing sings:
I am a way of preparing you
And I smile gently when you stray;
I know that out of loneliness
You will emerge into that greatest happiness
And will take my hands.

I walk with you through all prose
And obliquely teach you
the deep lesson in every fate.
Which is: to see in each small rose
The great Spring's unfolding.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Shake Your Groove Thang...

So I may be (finally...delightfully...wonderfully...) back in my groove. After kicking off the new year in Maui, settling into - and, I think, quite possibly loving - my new job, I'm good. Like really good. Like feeling like I can do just about anything good (with the exception of running a full marathon...who needs to run more than 2 hours, I ask you?).

What in the world am I going to do with this new found energy? It feels like years since I've had this kind of get-up-and-go, both physically and mentally. I can only laugh as the voice in my head is taunting me with whispers about being in my prime. I laugh because that's exactly how I feel. And now that I have just, serendipitously, finished Andre Agassi's autobiography, Open, I'm feeling dangerously inspired. If you haven't read it yet, do.

What an amazing story and an incredible life he's led. The most inspiring part, I feel, comes toward the end of his tennis career with the beginning of his philanthropic work. I was captivated by his words but truly moved by his actions. All I want to do now is use this energy of mine, this motivation I have, and channel it into something important. If that's not the markings of a great book, then I don't know what is.