Friday, June 18, 2010

I'm Only Human...But Working On That

I am surrounded by uber talented, ultra inspiring, amazing youngin's who are pissing me off. How's that for a start today?

You know you're in trouble when you see something or someone who inspires you and instead of filling you with warm fuzzies and the energy to leap tall buildings in a single bound (or is that love?...or superman?), it instead annoys the hell out of you.

While you were "busy" sitting on your ass in front of the tv, enjoying what you've been telling yourself isn't boredom but really "balance", these youngin's were out there doing something productive with themselves. Seriously. What a pisser. A significant pisser when you realize you used to be one of them...and a very long time ago at that.

(...and yes, we can assume that every time I write "you" I mean "me"...)

What to do? What to do?

Well, let's be honest. I became self-indulgent and moped for a good few days. I couldn't get my mind off the broken record of, "What have you done lately, Sonja? Changed the world in any way? Have you impacted anyone other than yourself as of late? Come to think of it, have you impacted yourself in a positive way? Well, have you?" Yes, my overly ambitious, type-A tendencies reared their ugly head.

Let's just say it wasn't pretty there for a while.

But thanks to some sunshine, a good sleep and a fresh perspective (a.k.a. an ass whooping from my nearest and dearest for my ridiculous attitude), I gained some clarity.

There are always going to be people out there who are better, faster, stronger and then some. So take your pick. They're everywhere, and they ARE inspiring. They raise the bar for the rest of us and that should never been seen as a bad thing. A rising tide raises all boats. I think it was JFK who coined this one but, sourcing aside, it's true. Bringing our "A" game to whatever we do doesn't just help us personally, it impacts everyone near by. It's up to us, however, to choose whether that impact is positive or negative. Do you behave like I did (an ass - why mix words?) and miss the opportunity, or do you take advantage of it and up your game? Your choice.

My pitiful reaction to these incredible people in my life was unfortunate. At a time when I was feeling rather uninspired and unmotivated, I had three uber talented, uber inspiring and uber young people enter my life (hello, wake up call!). Rather than viewing that phenomenon as the amazing gift it was, I chose to see it as an aggravating and negative reminder of all that I am not doing with my life. How regrettably pathetic.

Thanks to the aid of a few good souls (and some sleep...I'm terrible without enough of it), I am back to appreciating these people for who they are and doing my best to soak up all the learning their example can offer.

To you three, I apologize. I am humbled and very grateful that you have arrived in my life. You are my tangible proof of what is possible if I just continue to put one foot in front of the other. Your inspiration (and my clarity) could not have come at a better time, by the way. In just a few days, I'll be speaking to 100 undergrad students to go out and chase down their graduation dreams (...poor, poor audience of mine).

Well, at least my presentation seems to be writing itself here...however I would have preferred taking on the inspiring role vs. the "here's the example of what not to do", but so be it. A lesson learned is a lesson learned.