I know when I start to get restless that something has to shift. It's not right away, at least not usually. I generally need a few days, sometimes (sadly) a few weeks, to become fully annoyed by my restlessness before I will take action and do something about it. Today I am annoyed by it.
After months without a personal laptop - mine having died a slow and painfully long, drawn out death - I am the proud owner of a new MacBook. My first thought, after bringing it home and setting it up in a matter of 4 minutes or so, was why the hell I didn't I do this sooner? Both why didn't I replace my laptop sooner and, more emphatically, why didn't I buy myself a Mac long before now??? It's crazy making to think of all the time I have wasted. This machine is amazing...but I digress.
So here I am with my very own computer again (technically my MacBook is at home and I am at work but you get the point). You'd think that would ease my restlessness now that I can get back into a regular writing routine...and yet, instead of writing, I have been wasting time trying to change my blog template and, inadvertently I might add, downloading a virus that has apparently been emailing everyone in my professional address book (yes, I was on my work PC...not exactly ideal. Had I been on my MacBook, I wouldn't have had to worry about such a trifle).
So as I am downloading Malware something or other "fix-it" software, which is probably a virus itself (did I mention, Mac's don't have these problems?), I am further frustrated that (a) I now have to waste more time getting rid of this virus and (b) I'm even more disgruntled that I haven't found a solution to the limited range of Blogger templates I have to choose from (I would have been quite happy to take a new template with the virus...I'm a practical girl. I realize I can't have everything). Oh to be a graphic artist...but I'm digressing further.
It's a new year (thank God), my life is in stable condition (welcome news), and I seem to have a lot of time on my hands these days (how refreshing). I could be using that time to focus on some writing and exploration into what I shall do next with my life (...ding!, ding!, ding! Hello to the true source of my restlessness). I figured taking action and putting some cold hard cash down on a computer would be a strong commitment to myself to move forward since looking at this expensive piece of technology every day is going to kill me if I don't do something with it. Sh*t, did I just create a new kind of hell with which to dwell in? And here I thought I was doing so well.
Distractions are in short supply (hence my trying to create them out of thin air). Who cares what my blog looks like (new mantra: doesn't matter what it looks like, doesn't matter what it looks like...) so long as I am saying something of interest on a somewhat consistent basis (zero for two as of late, I'm afraid. My blog feels more like a Seinfeld episode - a whole lot about nothing - but a lot less funny).
New year, new focus, new theme.
It'll make sense soon enough, to both you and me, I hope (fingers are crossed).
Ciao for now,