Are You Sure About That? - Part 2

So getting back to the gift of the "The Gift"...

What I didn't share in my Part 1 post was what I walked into as I was awaiting my reading. In all the years (and that would be many) that I've been seeing my psychic, I have never walked in on the end of one her sessions. I've maybe passed someone in the hallway, made awkward and fleeting eye contact as we shuffled past one another, but that's it. Not only did I walk in on the end of someone else's session this time around, but I seemed to have walked in on an episode of Medium.

Far from being there for sh*ts and giggles as I was, these two women were there to find the location of their (they feared) murdered loved one. Full stop.

Needless to say, this overlap of ours, while interesting, was wildly surreal. The session was technically over by the time I made it to the door but they were lingering and chatting away about the session, the location that was identified and how grateful they were to be that much closer to receiving some form of closure. No one acted as if this whole scene was anything other than completely ordinary, so I did my best to seem, well, normal.

As they left, and we settled into my session, my psychic made a comment that further startled me.

"I guess that was for your benefit. I never go over time like that."

"Pardon? For my benefit? How do you mean?"

She went on to tell me that I was being shown all of that because I will be able to do the same for others one day (say wha...?) and then she went on to tell me how I can start working on cultivating it - I don't even know what to call "it" and here I am being given guidance on how to do it. So much for normal.

In the hypothetical realm, something like this sounds pretty cool. As a kid, I loved the idea of one day being a secret agent, catching the bad guys, solving the unsolvable. I even went so far as to take a few years of Criminology in my undergrad. When The X-Files came on tv, I was even more intrigued with the paranormal and all things unexplained. But, as it turned out, crime and murder, be it in this dimension or some hypothetical other, just wasn't my cup of tea. So in the practical realm, not sounding so cool at this point. It struck me as a tremendous responsibility and a whole lot of pressure (translation: not a good time).

Interesting. I've never been a skeptic before now...now that I apparently have "the gift." Somehow I've shifted from identifying with Mulder to behaving a whole lot more like Scully.

So I ask the universe again, are you sure about that or am I soon to be starring in my own version of The X-Files???

Are You Sure About That? - Part I

My adventure into the realm of psychic exploration officially took off after my last psychic reading 2 weeks ago. Actually, that's not entirely true. My last reading was, more accurately, the straw that broke the camels back. It was the one that finally compelled me to act.

To demonstrate just how stubborn that makes me, I've been going to see her every year for about 11 years now. Eleven! And she's been not so subtly nudging me to move in this direction for at least the past 6.

So we sit down and right away she picks up that something is missing in my life. Work is good, family is good, I'm surrounded by great people...yadda, yadda, yadda...but, yes, something is indeed missing. And I know exactly what that is! That's why I came to speak with her. I'm giddy with excitement.

I'd been dating a great guy but really wasn't sure if he and I had a future. My gut was telling me that we probably didn't...something was missing...but I was looking for some additional guidance. I could almost hear the words she was about to say...and then she said, "You're missing a part of yourself that you haven't been tapping into, Sonja. You're missing meaning in your life; a connection to something bigger."

What? Hold on a second. My mind was racing. How could she have left out the guy? It was so obvious...even to me!

"Ahh, really? I sort of thought I was missing something in my relationship."

"No, Sonja, this has nothing to do with a relationship."

"Are you sure about that? Do you maybe want to check again? I'm pretty confident it's about love."

"No, Sonja, it's not"...she said, chuckling at me.

I wanted to argue with her but knew better. I was feeling so deflated. I was sure I had it figured out. With some hindsight now I can see I was clearly in denial, trying to avoid what she really wanted me to hear.

There was to be no dating guidance in this particular reading, unless you count the fact that my abilities - soon to be tapped into - will keep away those who aren't serious and can't hack it. You know, I get that, big picture, this is a great thing, but I don't care who you are...no single person wants to hear they're about to have less prospects in their future. Am I wrong? Didn't think so.

As much as I wanted to be a bigger person and focus on all the incredible things she was sharing with me (more to come on that later) as I walked away from my session, all I could think was how complicated my dating life was about to become.

Aren't psychics supposed to be evolved past all this petty human stuff? Do I really have "the gift" or, as my rational brain kept asking, could this just be some kind of cosmic mistaken identity?

Not Sure I'm Primed & Ready For That Exactly

I'm a self professed dabbler. I dabble in a bit of this and I dabble in a bit of that. I like to try new things and I am always open to experiencing something new and out of my comfort zone. Since I can remember, I've always been drawn to learn about the things I don't understand. "Why?" was very likely one of my first words...much to my mother's chagrin (I was not an easy kid to manage).

When my mom couldn't answer my daily barrage of "why?" questions, observing human nature (and later delving into the study of psychology) became my best teacher. I was a reflective and sensitive kid and, unbeknown to me at the time, I was watching and studying what drove people to behave the way they do. As a result, I've always been pretty good at reading people, especially picking up on what isn't being said.

My thirst for knowledge, obsessively self-reflective mind and my love of a good story, have led me to some pretty interesting people and some wildly "out there" experiences. Which brings me to my newest adventure and the unbelievable things that are unfolding before me now. Ah, yeah...how exactly do I say this? Do I just come right out with it? Very well then...ah, yup, well apparently I am psychic (and with that, I think I have officially crossed the line from dabbler to student...and most definitely crossed the threshold of my comfort zone).

Which brings me to the present. I haven't been blogging lately because I've been trying to wrap my head around all of this. And by that, I mean trying to logically explain it all, which, just for the record, is not possible.

I should clarify that this hasn't just happened overnight. It wasn't like I woke up one day and just suddenly had "the gift." It seems this has been a life long process in the making for me...something similar to the "overnight" success that, upon further research, was actually 14 years in the making behind closed doors and without any fan fare.

Interestingly, I've been told for years that I have certain "abilities" I could be tapping into. I've been told this by multiple, and quite random, people at that. I sort of thought that was intriguing but I can't say I ever had a sense of what to do with that information. As much as I love learning about spirituality and enjoy a good psychic reading once a year for "fun", I've been quite resistant to exploring it in any depth on a personal level. That was until very recently, and that's when everything shifted...and I mean everything.

So I think I found the theme for my blog finally. Can't say I saw this one coming.